Hello friends,

Greetings from Utrecht!

We've officially stumbled into the year's Busy Period.

Last week was Maya's 4th birthday, which means that she is now also going to school. A big step for her, as well as her parents. We know logically that it's a good thing for her to learn new things and make friends of the same age, but at the same we're both struggling a bit with the fact that a much larger part of her life is now taking place so far outside of our view and control. Letting go starts here, and it sure isn't easy.

Of course, were now also in the pre-amble for the holidays, and the period where I traditionally start to question everything I'm doing with my life. It's reassuring to know that my Annual Review is also coming up, which is the perfect place to work through those questions and doubts in a constructive way, and using them as building blocks for my plans for 2023.

And lest I forgot, it's my own birthday tomorrow! To mark the occasion, I'm sharing a 25% discount for Better Book Notes, which you can claim by entering the code BDAY22 here: https://martijnvanzwieten.gumroad.com/l/rkoaj​

Today at a glance:

• New essay: Conscious Leadership
• The art and science of interoception
• Pitching to Raw Fury
• Skill vs luck

On Conscious Leadership

Conscious leadership is all about one thing: a black line.

Let me explain.

In The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, authors Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Warner Klemp ask us to imagine a simple, black line. As leaders, they explain, we can be either above or below this line.

Above the line, we are open, curious, and committed to learning. When we are below the line, we are closed, defensive and committed to being right.

Insecurity and fear can draw us below the line, and will often keep us there. Conscious leadership is first and foremost about developing better self-awareness; of recognizing the line, and being truthful to yourself about your position on it. Knowing where you are on the line is more important than being above the line all the time, and is the first step to becoming better at shifting your position.

Below the line, we are often in a victim mindset, where we are constantly beset by outside forces, and it feels like things happen “to me”. By shifting, we can move to a mindset of responsibility, where we choose how we react to outside forces and direct our own life, and you can start to feel like things are done “by me”.

The book further expands this concept into 15 commitments that we can make to become more conscious leaders.

The 15 commitments of conscious leadership

1. Taking radical responsibility
   ​Instead of placing blame, take responsibility​
2. Learning through curiosity
   ​Learn about yourself to become more self-aware. Recognize when you are above the line (open, curious and committed to learning) or below the line (defensive, closed and committed to being right)
3. Feeling all feelings
   ​Learn to locate, name and express your feelings
4. Speaking candidly
   ​Practice speaking with candor, revealing all thoughts, feelings an sensations in an open, honest and aware way.
5. Eliminating gossip
   ​Fear is usually at the center of gossip. Learn to speak directly to one another.
6. Practicing integrity
   ​Integrity is the practice of keeping agreements, taking responsibility, revealing authentic feelings, and expressing unarguable truth. Make clear agreements, keep them, renegotiate when needed, and clean them up when broken.
7. Generating appreciation
   ​Committing to appreciation helps leaders and organizations grow value in the workplace. Masterful appreciation is sincere, unarguable, specific and succinct.
8. Excelling in your zone of genius
   ​Assess, understand and appreciate your own unique genius, and help others do the same. Aim to spend most of your time in that zone.
9. Living a life of play and rest
   ​Play and rest are crucial for long-term performance. Honor rest, renewal and personal rhythms.
10. Exploring the opposite
    ​Consider that the opposite of your beliefs could be just as true, or truer. Question your beliefs, and adopt a curious mindset.
11. Sourcing approval, control and security
    ​Everyone seeks approval, control and security. Learn to find these in yourself, instead of outside yourself.
12. Having enough of everything
    ​Adopt a mindset of sufficiency in everything: time, money, love, energy, space, and resources. These things are like water: regardless of the flow, you direct where it goes.
13. Experiencing the world as an ally
    ​Frame other people and circumstances as allies in your learning and growth, rather than obstacles to getting what you want.
14. Creating win for all solutions
    ​Business and life are not zero-sum games. Commit to creating positive-sum solutions to your challenges
15. Being the resolution
    ​See what is missing in your world, and regard it as an invitation to become the solution

Next steps

Here are some next steps you can take if this essay has piqued your interest:

• ​Subscribe to my newsletter to get new essays just like this one straight in your inbox, every two weeks on Tuesday.
• If you want support in developing your self-awareness as a leader, my Executive Sparring services can be used to do just that.

The Best Bits

​The art and science of interoception: This article by Jonny Miller pairs nicely with this week's essay. Interoception is essentially awareness of our internal state, and Jonny provides an excellent primer on what it is, how it works and how you can get better at it.

​Pitching to Raw Fury: I recently came across this write-up by Spencer Yan on the process of pitching his game to publisher Raw Fury. He goes into great depth to describe what he did, as well as how and when he did it. I'd love to see more developers share their process like this, because we can learn a great deal from each other's experiences.

​Skill vs luck: Most people assume that great success comes from great skill. In this essay, Luca Dellanna explains that the success of outperformers like Elon Musk is often attributable more to luck than to pure skill. In fact, Luca posits that as a rule the runners-up are usually more skilled than the category leader.

See you in two weeks!

Martijn

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