TLG#78: A brief guide to better feedback


Issue #78

Hello friends,

Greetings from Utrecht!

I'm in the middle of my busiest month of the year - somehow all of my big deliverables seem to have concentrated in September - but I'm not too busy to share some hot tips on feedback!

This topic comes up a lot in my coaching - either because clients ask about it, or because it becomes clear that feedback is not being shared and received effectively in the studio.

So I've put some thoughts on paper that have stuck with me over the years, in the hopes that they will help you improve the flow of feedback in your own studio.

A Brief Guide To Better Feedback

Whenever feedback comes up in my coaching, it's usually in this form:

"How do I give feedback so that people will listen?"

And it's completely understandable.

When you are trying to create a culture of high standards and accountability in your studio, it can be incredibly frustrating when feedback goes ignored.

But here's the thing.

People don't accept your feedback unless they feel that the feedback is for their own benefit, and not yours.

They don't accept it until they know for a fact that you care.

If you want to get to the point where you have earned the position to give feedback, you have to build that trust.

The best way to do that is to build the habit of feedback from the inside out.

If you want your team to get better at handling feedback, you have to get better at it yourself, first.

And this doesn't start with how you give feedback.

It doesn't even start with how you receive feedback.

It starts with you asking for feedback.

Asking for feedback

To create a culture of high standards, you don't just want people to give and receive feedback.

You want them to seek it out. And the best way to create a new behavior is to model it.

One easy way to do this is to use the 1:1s with your reports to ask specifically for feedback on what you could improve.

Here are some example questions:

  • "What could I do to improve our working relationship?"
  • "What can I do to make your job easier/better/more fun?"
  • "What feedback are you not giving me because you're afraid it will hurt my feelings?"

If you're doing this for the first time, don't expect them to offload everything at once.

Remember, you have to earn their trust.

Take small steps, and show them that you can be trusted with their feedback by handling it well.

Which leads us to...

Receiving feedback

One framework for handling feedback is the five A's.

1. Ask for it

We covered that. Essentially, make sure that they understand that negative feedback will not be punished, but cherished. Say this explicitly.

2. Acknowledge it

Confirm the feedback you heard by stating it back to them, and ask if you got it right. Ask them if there is more, until they say "that's everything." Then, imagine you're in their shoes, and express the thoughts and feelings you would have in their situation to acknowledge their situation.

Ask them: "Do you feel heard?"

3. Appreciate it

Feedback is a precious gift. Don't argue back. Don't make excuses. Just say "Thank you".

4. Accept it (or not)

State whether or not you accept the feedback. You don't have to. Accepting all feedback is simply not possible, nor a healthy standard for any cooperation. So state whether you accept it, and give an explanation if you don't.

If you do accept it, move on to the final A.

5. Act on it

Create an action item together that will effectively address the feedback. Put a deadline on it. Do it, and let the feedback giver know that you completed the action. This proves that you are open to feedback and committed to improving.

Go one step further by sharing the feedback and action item with the rest of the team, or even organization. This proves to others that feedback is wanted, can be safely given, and is acted upon.

This builds an open culture where feedback can be shared more freely.

Giving feedback

OK, so we're finally back to giving feedback. How do you do this effectively?

Kim Scott's framework of radical candor is a good starting point here.

1. Be kind and clear.

People need to know you care, or they won't take your feedback on board. But they also need to hear the truth.

2. Focus on behavior, not personality.

Address what they do, not who they are. Focus on what they can change.

3. Be specific.

Vague feedback is useless. Tell them: “In situation (X), when you do (Y), It has (Z) effect”. Use this to reinforce good behavior as well.

And there you go. A brief guide to asking for, receiving and giving feedback.

Focus on improving these three things, and you are all but guaranteed a culture of high standards and accountability.

If you implement any of this, let me know if it helps!

P.S. Handling feedback is an integral part of the Long Game Operating System for better studio management. Curious to hear what else it includes, and how it can help you lead your studio with more confidence, better results, and less hassle? Let's talk!


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Reading - Monkey, translated by Arthur Waley

Just finished this translation of Journey to the West, in preparation for Black Myth: Wukong. It's a wonderful story, aptly translated in an abbreviated version by Waley. Very much looking forward to see how BM:W handles the source material.

Watching - From

Just finished the first season, and I'm now frantically looking for a place to stream the other seasons in the Netherlands. So far, it feels like a mash-up of It Follows and Lost. Easily a Top 3 horror show, and possibly a Top 10 show in general.

See you in two weeks!

Martijn


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